Turning Back

By Captain Scott Buckley

The Weather:

The weather system as it passed Pensacola

In the last post we planned to leave Sunday for Port St. Joe to pick up Bud Campbell.  The weather was not looking good.  There were these large bands of rain sweeping in off the Gulf and the news was mostly about flooding.  Somewhere I missed what that there was a low pressure trough in the Gulf of Mexico.  On radar it looked like a passing front.  Well about 13:30 Sunday the rains stopped and I looked again on radar and it looked like the weather had passed us and was now heading east towards Panama City Florida.  What I did not realize was that it was headed to Panama City but was not in any hurry to make it there.

Offshore Tamera before the ordeal

The crew (1st Mate Tamera) was concerned about leaving with the weather that appeared to be very unsettled.  I was guilty of feeling the pressure of trying to meet up with crew in Port St. Joe and getting out of an expensive transient dock, but I convinced Tamera that the bad stuff had passed and we would just follow it to St. Joe and to ready the boat and we would leave and follow the weather to the east.  The forecast called for south winds at about 10 knots.  This should be very doable for us.  So we slipped the lines around 2:30PM and headed out.

A Little History

I have been on boats, ships and things that go to sea for nearly half a century.  I have weather hurricane Juan alone in the Gulf of Mexico in a 32 foot flat bottom aluminum boat (something I suggest no one ever do), I have weathered the North Sea and South Atlantic and Pacific all across the world and in all that time I have never turned back.   Once I have fought for miles at sea I am very reluctant to give them up.  The same goes for the 1st Mate.  Once when sail East into an eastern sea back in 2013 I asked the 1st mate if she wanted to turn back.  Our buddy boat behind us had given up and turned back but the 1st Mate said she hates to give up the miles and I agreed.  Those miles are hard to give up if they have not come easy so we pressed on.  Our little bit of history is we are not quitters by nature.

Forecasts be Damn:

Once we got out of Pensacola Pass the winds were not from the south but from the east but were in the 10 knot range.  The swells were quiet large and the sea state was a little rough for no more wind than what we had.  Due to the sea state I decided to raise sails to stabilize the boat and maybe get a little more speed.  The speed would not mean much because with the sails up and the wind on the nose we would be beating towards Port St. Joe about 105 nm at a heading of about 105 degrees true.  The darkness did show up as predicted with no moon and overcast skies so it was going to be dark.  Very dark.

Deteriorating Conditions:

As we worked our way  east the rain started.  The farther east we went the harder it rained and the winds kept increasing.  With the rains and the complete darkness there was no visibility.  Though I was standing watch there was nothing to see. 10 to 15 knots became 15-20 knots.  15 to 20 knots became 20 to 25 knots and the conditions deteriorated into the darkness.   It was impossible to remain dry and everything in the cockpit was wet, crew included.  With the sea pounding and Kooky Dance slogging her way to the east the speed rapidly fell off.  In the first 2 hours of travel we cover about 9 nm to the destination.  I the next 4 hours we only increased that by 10 nm.  Winds started topping 35 knots and stayed constant above 30 knots.  It was pitch black with rain.  I could not see anything.  I could not see how big the waves were but could make out the curling white foam of the breakers seconds before the crashed over the bow.
I was hoping the 30-35 knot winds would abate but I watched them closely for 30 minutes and they were not weakening and if the truth be told they actually looked like they were increasing.  I tried sailing further offshore and while the wind did shift about 10 degrees to the south they increased with each mile further south we traveled. 

Turning Back:

I told Tamera I was going to turn back.  I got no arguments.  You would think that turning around should be easy but with no visual references (remember pitch black and driving rain) and a sincere fear of jibing in this wind it took a great deal of control to bring the boat around under control and get here headed back to Pensacola.  The seas were so big and SV Kooky Dance was jumping around it was very difficult to maintain orientation.  The only reference I had was the wind direction and when the boat was in a wave through that could not be completely trusted.  Once Kooky Dance was turned around and the sail (by this time I had only a single reefed main sail up) eased she was screaming along at 7.8 knots.  Tamera thought I was an exceptional boat handler but I thought I was lucky.

The Lights:

As we sailed west the rain cleared and I was actually able to pick up the glow of some city lights to the north.  In that distant light I was able to see the monsters that pursued us.  At first I thought they were ships or other boats.  These dark shapes would pass between us and the glow from the north.  They were moving fast and at first caused my heart to skip a beat until I realized they were waves and not huge ships intent on doing us harm.  They were the waves we had been beating into that I could not see and they were massive.  In just under 3 hours we were back at the Pensacola Pass.  We had completely undone 6 to7 hrs. of sailing in just under 3 hrs.

The Raging:

As we approached the pass the winds has abated to 20 knots and clocked a bit to the south.  I did not want to go racing thru the pass and chance jibing so just before we got the Pensacola Pass we dropped the main.  When I turn the boat north into the pass our speed dropped from 7 knots to 2.2 knots.  There was an outbound current from Pensacola Bay against the wind and seas.  This is commonly known as when “the pass is raging”.  That is exactly the right words for what was coming next.  The big seas that had been pursuing us were running into this fast outbound current and this stood them up.  It made them peak, crest and break.  It made them crest and break on Kooky Dance.  These seas would slam into the stern of Kooky Dance and try to spin her around.  The current would catch the bow and try to force her off course.  It was everything I could do to maintain control of our tiny vessel.  The Pensacola Pass is not very wide and has shoals on both sides.  At night in these conditions the Pass seemed very small and the way the boat was getting tossed about I had a great deal of trouble keeping Kooky Dance lined up in the channel and not go careening into a shoal.  The channel markers were bobbing around in the waves like us and very often not visible but there was something that stay visible for most of the trip thru the Pass.  That was the Pensacola light house.  If I kept the lighthouse about 20 points to the starboard I was roughly lined up with the channel.   When I say if I kept the lighthouse at that bearing what I mean is if I kept the average bearing about 20 points of to the starboard.  The actual bearing of the lighthouse at any given time was from 90 degrees to starboard to 60 degrees to port.  I probably looked like a drunk walking thru a rock garden that night but I can swear I was VERY sober.  With the boat pitching about I caught a glimpse of Tamera sliding to the cockpit floor and staying there.  I was worried she could see the fear on my face and could not stand to look at it anymore.  That was not the case at all. 

Wrestling the Gas

What had happened and unknown to me at the time was the 20 lb. propane tank strapped to the  steering station had broken loose and was flying around the cockpit like a 2 year old on caffeine and sugar.  Tamera jumped down to wrestle it under control.  The post mortem showed the buckle had broken.  No chafe, no loose straps but a broken buckle. 

Turning the Corner

Pensacola Pass

As you go north into Pensacola Pass you can turn right and into Pensacola Bay or left thru the narrow cut into Big Lagoon.  While Big Lagoon would offer a more secure anchorage I had no stomach for negotiating the narrow cut at night.  Tamera concurred.  We turned right into the bay and dropped the hook behind the barrier island.  The time was about 2AM.  We fell asleep still in our wet clothes.

The Damage

There were two types of damage to be assessed.  The physical and the psychological.  For the physical the newly installed fish cleaning station I had installed on the bow was ripped away.  Only a few bits of torn metal remained.  A boat hook was missing (from the cockpit)  Both Tamera and I wondered how we missed seeing it go flying past us.  It was very dark.  Finally one of the two of our folding chairs that was lashed to the stern was gone.  The psychological damage would take additional time to assess but the first casualty was a loss of confidence.  While Tamera had only praise for my ability to get us home I was profoundly shaken in my estimation of myself as Captain.   Tamera was jumpy the next day which proved even though she was putting on a brave face she too was still rattled.

Bad Passage the Remake

The next morning I got up early and listen to the weather on the VHF and told Tamera we would try again.  I raised the anchor and got us underway.  Once we got out to the Pensacola pass the seas were sloppy and Tamera came up from below and did not look happy.  I had not given her time to take sea sickness medicine and with the slop in the pass the 1st mate was sick.  On top of this we were still wet and the boat was in disarray. This was no way to start out a trip so I turned around and headed all the way back to the dock.  In stead of meeting our crew in Port St. Joe I would have them come to Pensacola and we would depart from here.  That was the plan but plans can change with new information.  I was still trying to hold our schedule together.

Fixing What Needs Mending

The physical toll will be first.  The fishing station was gone.  I removed the remaining pieces of the brackets and tossed them away.  I would be cleaning fish on the deck like most sailors.  We would buy a new boat hook and folding chair in Pensacola.  The psychological toll will be next.  Every sailing couple gets there butts kicked every once in a while.  We had to turn this into a positive quickly.  Tamera turned to “Women who sail” on Facebook and relayed her story and concerns.  We got some really thoughtful responses and advice.  They all said it is a wise sailor who knows when to turn around and most importantly it is important to follow a bad passage with a good one.  I on the other hand got busy getting my weatherfax set up working on the SSB radio.  I was counting on weather app on my phone and once we set off for Mexico those apps would not work.  I replaced the broken speakers in the cockpit and got the IPOD working with the stereo so we could have music while making passages.  We did a better job of stowing things while underway and keeping the deck and cockpit clear.  I also got a better fix on the weather. 

The New Plan

Well plans change and I was not going to rush things.  Probably the biggest mistake I made during the bad trip was letting a schedule of events push me into rushed decisions.  We would eventually make it to Port St. Joe and follow a bad passage with a good one.  More on that in the next update.